CONFESSION: (and those of you who know my philosophy on foods, get this- YES, IT’S TRUE)
I was 36 weeks pregnant with my third child.
It happened. I saw that poster of french fries covered with queso cheese sauce and sprinkled with bacon. It called for me to come into Carl’s JR. It looked.oh.so.yummy. Yep, my husband and I went in and had lunch there.
I was happily eating the cheesy meal, feeling it warm the insides of my enormous belly. A who worked there came over to me. She was a fairly large woman who had half her teeth with a very friendly smile. She said to me, “I hear you’re 36 weeks pregnant!”
Me ( surprised that she knew that about me): “Yes.”
She (spoke with a hint of a romantic tone): “Oh man, aren’t those fries just delicious? Oh yes, they’re even better when you dip them in Ranch dressing. Oh yes.”
Me (silent because that is just about the most disgusting thing I had ever heard and that was just crossing the heart attack line–I mean, come on, french fries dripped in queso cheese sprinkled with bacon is bad enough as is…)
She started leaning towards me and I started to move away–then I realized she wanted to whisper in my ear. I was going to explain to her that I don’t do well with whispering but decided against it. I let her whisper in my ear. I was amazed at how loud and clear it was.
This is what she whispered: “It’s almost as good as S-E-X!!!” I opened my eyes wide like a very innocent child. It was so loud that I was sure that my husband heard her. I asked him with a “I can’t believe she said that” tone, “Did YOU hear that?” He shook his head indicating that he hadn’t.
She proudly stood up and said out loud, “Almost..” and walked away.